HATE !!

I HATE U BOTH !! FCUKED UP WORK & MONEY !!

U BOTH DESTROY EVERYTHING !!!!

me

have u ever felt the feeling of no appetite to eat anything or drink anything ?? well, i fianlly felt that havent eaten or drink anything since i woke up from my bad sleep yesterday...i knew that something bad is going to happen, just the matter of time....

this is how i felt the whole day...i dont really know how may feelings i have felt due to so many things im thinking of...how can i end this pain full situation...have u ever felt depress b4 ?? its really bad especially if ur 1 of many depression victims..have u ever try to take away "yourself" and live no longer so the pain will all fade.....no many know that i have tried it....not many.........

Do You Know What's Worth Fighting for
When It's Not Worth Dying for?
Does It Take Your Breath away
And You Feel Yourself Suffocating?
Does the Pain Weigh out the Pride?
And You Look for a Place to Hide?
Did Someone Break Your Heart inside?

When You're at the End of the Road
And You Lost All Sense of Control
And Your Thoughts Have Taken Their Toll
When Your Mind Breaks the Spirit of Your Soul
Your Faith Walks on Broken Glass
And the Hangover Doesn't Pass
Nothing's Ever Built to Last
IM in Ruins.

i just hope that God will erase this dark memory...y cant there be just light ?? sometimes i look up the dark cloudy skies, imagining how nice if a ray of light penetrate it..its just beautiful, its a sense of hope and the feeling that a savior is here just for u....well, i wanted that really badly and i really need it...

later on, the bus came and its was the next day late evening where the sun has already pass..i was happy awhile, but only awhile...because soon i realise when i reach my house, no one was there to open the doors for me...no one.....so i waited for my mum to come to open it for me...

well i was waiting and waiting, but as time passes i soon to realise that my mum will never come so i waited for my dad but he too didnt show up...i was all alone outside again...cold, sad, and longing for a better day to come...sometimes i need some1 to totally understand me to feel me....

after all, i told myself "how can any1 understands me, not even my parents know me, not my friends, not even any1....many only know 1/4 of me, the most is only 3/4.....wat can i say, no 1 is perfect yet again...so i try to live every passing momment of my life with myself only, only me and my soul....

after a long wait at the bus stop, there seems to be nothing coming to pick me up to ride me back home.. so i waited and waited but nothing....as darkness and loneliness feels me in, i found myself looking in the dark pool of water beside me, thinking if the bus will ever come.

finally i get a chance and i told my self that God will guide me to the correct path, so i try so hard to patch up my pain. however as time passes by again, i was told by a stranger that the bus broke down and will not be able to pick me till the next day...and the stranger add on, "Maybe tomorrow, maybe another tomorrow or another..."

i was speechless for awhile..i cant believe wat i heard but i know that God wont let me see it as it is...i keep questioning myself, isit my fault or isit the bus ???? well....i really dono...my head keep spinning and spinning as i keep thinking of reasons & solutions & even the cause....

after a long darkness night, i felt that im the only 1 left in the world and there will be no one to even see me in my sorrow...

sometimes it come and it go... when the time i dont wan it to come but it come... obviously i never wan it to come but nothing is perfect..so i wonder...always wondering if she would understand wat i wan and wat im feeling..sometimes i cant prevent it from happening so i'll just try my best to put it away or try to sacrifice for something.. i know that she is trying to change it, but i wonder if she really understand because the thing that was trying to be changed is not wat i wanted but its something else...this makes me think further and further, not really sure if she gets it.....all i can do is to try putting it away again so nothing bad will happen.

JJ even u cant help me..

G.H with GF !

YEA !!! finally Sem break is here :D:D me and my baby decided to go to Genting for 4 daysss ^.^ ppl sure say y so long rite, i'll tell them its for fun :D haha anyway we totally enjoy our trip although the bloody H1N1 is so dangerous nowadays XS... haha thats y we got mask to lower the risk, smart huhh !! haha damn the pharmacy, earning damn alot...ish ish ish... oh well, wat can i say, we both really wan this trip to work and it did !! very well too !!!! :D i hope i can just stay in Genting for the rest of my life :D bloody hot in KL xsss hahaha

LOVE U MY BABY DEAR !!!

4EVER AND EVER !! :D